Letting Yourself off the Hook for Good
By Angela S. Taylor MA, LPC-S
“I’m giving myself a break...because it’s covid.”
“I’m letting myself off the hook...because it’s quarantine.” “I’m being more gentle on myself...because of the pandemic.” “I’ll get back to my old self...once this all ends.” And the list goes on. Over the last couple of months, I’ve heard a million different versions of this. This is an indescribably difficult time, and we should be giving ourselves some grace as we figure out how to cope. But, now hear me out, what if this was always meant to be the expectation we have of ourselves?
What if we gave ourselves grace and a “break” for the rest of time? What if we decided we’ve been pushing ourselves too hard and that it’s okay to not be so perfect? What if we made the decision that striving for perfection is an impossible and unattainable standard? What if we decided that we are enough without all of the pushing to be better and better? What if we let ourselves breathe and really listened to our bodies, hearts, and souls? What do we really need and want based on our inner beings and not what society tells us to be?
I know some of these questions spark different things in different people. These questions will allow some of us to breathe a little more deeply while others of us will go into sheer panic mode. But why? Well, society, our parents, our colleagues, even our friends, have encouraged us and told us that we need to keep striving and pushing ourselves beyond our limits. We are pushed and pushed to prove ourselves and earn that enoughness.
I want to encourage you here. I want to remind you that you are already enough. You have value and worth that is in no way tied to productivity or appearance. At the end of your life, your friends and family won’t talk about how much you acquired or how great it was that you could still fit in your skinny jeans and always skipped the cake. They will talk about who you were, not what you did for them. They will remember experiences they had with you and how you always made them feel. This is the good stuff...this is where life really happens.
And guess what? Those are the memories and moments you will value too. Leaning into you allows you to find joy and happiness in the day to day. Not striving each and every second opens you up to really experience your life and those around you. After all, isn’t that what life really is about? Don’t we all want, and deserve, the peace and joy life has to offer?
So, my challenge to you is to really work on full acceptance of you...not full acceptance of you “for the time we’re living in.” What would it look like for you to give yourself a break when life gets back to “normal?” Let’s figure that out now so that you can spend the rest of your life loving the world you’ve created around you. You and your life are fully and wholly enough, and that is such a relief.
Here’s a good place to start. Ask yourself these questions:
When was the last time I felt truly happy?
When was the last time I felt true peace?
Who are the people in my life that I feel the most “me” around?
When was the last time I felt fully present?
Where do I feel most energized?
These are just some questions to get you started. As always, let us know if we can help! We’d love to work on this with you as you fully embrace you and your life.
