Myths and Truths About Coping with Grief and Loss

Imagine years ago you received a table lamp as a gift from a beloved aunt. It doesn’t go with anything else you own, and it’s too big or fragile to store away in the attic. The healthy move is probably to realize you’ve made a sentimental connection to the physical object, and that you can stand to get rid of the lamp without getting rid of the feelings of love you have for your aunt. This can be a more painful process than we’re expecting, but ultimately it helps to become a more resilient person.

Loss is as inevitable a part of the human experience as joy and connection. At some point in our lives, we will all experience the pain and sorrow of grieving someone or something that we love. But the way we each cope with grief and loss can differ widely, and the stories we learn and tell ourselves about grief can make the process more challenging. In today’s post, our depression counselors expose some myths about coping with grief and loss, and also reveal several truths.

Myth #1: Time heals all wounds.

While time can help ease the intensity of the pain, it does not necessarily heal our wounds completely. The process of grieving is unique to every person and it can take longer for some than others. It’s natural to feel like you're taking two steps forward and one step back sometimes. Every memory can be a source of pain, joy, or sometimes both, that comes roaring back at an unexpected moment. Healing is not a linear process.

Myth #2: You should be over it by now.

Grief is not something we simply get over. It's a process that takes its own time and everyone has their timeline for healing. There is no "right" amount of time to grieve, and it's important to allow yourself to feel and process your emotions at your own pace. It's important to grieve fully before trying to move on and keep from setting deadlines for yourself. That’s a recipe for making yourself feel even worse if you’re not feeling whole again by the deadline Remember that moving on doesn’t mean forgetting about what we lost but finding a way to incorporate their memory into our forward journey.

Myth #3: Be strong.

Expressing our emotions is a healthy and necessary part of the grieving process. Bottling them up will lead to further emotional distress and prolong the healing process. It's important to find healthy ways to express these emotions, like talking to a therapist, journaling, or participating in a support group or group therapy. Grief is a natural process and cannot be controlled. Allow yourself to experience the grieving process without trying to control it or suppress it. Letting yourself feel and process your emotions is a sign of great strength and courage. It takes bravery and boldness to face your pain head-on and work through it, rather than trying to push it away or ignore it.

Myth #4: We ultimately grieve alone.

Grief can be an incredibly isolating experience, which is why it's so important to reach out for help when we need it. Seeking support from a therapist or support group, or from members of our circle of trust, can help us feel less alone and provide the support we need to heal.

Myth #5: Grief only comes after death.

Grief can come from any type of loss, including that of a job, relationship, pet, or even a dream. Perhaps a child is choosing to live a different path than the one you imagined when they were younger, or your career has taken its own direction that you never expected. It's important to recognize that any type of loss can trigger the grieving process, and it’s essential to mourn and grieve the losses that leave this kind of mark.

Myth #6: Grief is the same for everyone.

Grief is unique and personal, and everyone experiences it differently. What grief looks like from one person to the next can be mysterious when we try to compare them, which is why it’s not always helpful to “go by the book.” What works for one person may not work for another, and it's important to find coping strategies that work for you.

Myth #7: You can find closure.

“Closure” is a myth when it comes to grief. The pain of losing someone or something we love never truly goes away, we simply learn to live with it over time. It can change shape, or come to live in our cherished memories as a kind of hope or comfort. It's important to find ways to honor what we've lost and to find meaning in the experience.

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Coping with grief and loss is a complex and unique experience that can be challenging to navigate. After all, few of us have any real practice with it. It's important to remember that grief is a natural process, and it’s a gift that reminds us of how important the lost person or thing was. Take the time and space you need to grieve and heal, and please know it's possible to find meaning and purpose in your experience, even through the pain.

Noyau Wellness Center has been the leader in Dallas counseling and whole body wellness for over a decade. Our team of trusted experts has changed the way Dallas area residents experience therapy. With years of experience working with everyone from individuals to families to professional athletes, Noyau has a reputation for helping clients experience long-lasting and profound change. Take that first step into the light and contact us today.